So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
