The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
