yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
