I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize