I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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