You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
