She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize