she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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