i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
