It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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