I need help removing her.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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