I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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