glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize