I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Enjoy the penises
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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