Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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