I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
