the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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