OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We named our party play list daddy issues
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize