Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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