Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
