Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
