I faked an abortion last night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
party gras won. party gras always wins.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Panties = found
Randomize
