he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
