so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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