i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
