i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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