She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
