sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize