also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Come see our sink grown plant.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize