Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
