If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
