he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
