I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
