PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
