My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
