where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
