I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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