Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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