Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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(720): View more from Colorado

New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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(309): View more from Illinois

so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....

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(585): View more from New York

just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.

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(206): View more from Washington

I have a mailbox and I don't know why.

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