I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize