She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
