Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
