HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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