Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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