the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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