even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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