If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
