thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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