another moral hangover. fuck.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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