just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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