Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
