Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
