I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize