You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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