hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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