that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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