Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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