whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
