i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize