Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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