some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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