i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize