I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize